Memories Of A Blonde Girl
by LittleMissWho
Summary: Set after straight after Journeys End. The TARDIS is NOT happy with Doctor for leaving Rose behhind. Again. Through a rather interesting conversation, she shows him how much Rose suffered for him. And he instantly regrets leaving her behind...


**_A/N: Please Read+Review, guys :D It means so much!XD_**

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* * *

_**He slumped against the inside of the TARDIS doors. That day had been... excruciating. Saying goodbye to so many people. Mickey, Jack, Sarah Jane and Martha, who he'd probably see again. Donna, who he couldn't see again, because of her head. And Rose. Who was probably feeling very confused and heart broken at the moment, because he had left her behind _again, _after she'd spent two years of her life trying to get back to him.

The TARDIS hummed angrily at him as he thought of Rose.

_"She's happy." _he muttered to his ship _"that's all I want."_

_"She wasted two years of her life. She came back to you, and all you could do was give her a replacement!" _The TARDIS almost screamed, inside his head.

_"She'll be happy." _He repeated, shaking his head.

_"Oh for gods sake! Stop being such a martyr! You couldn't even be bothered to tell her you loved her! You left that to HIM aswell!" _The TARIDS was screaming now.

"_I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LEAVE HER BEHIND IF I'D TOLD HER!" _He yelled back.

_"You have no idea how much she's had to put up with for you." _The TARDIS muttered.

He shook his head. _"No. I don't."_

_"Well. Maybe it's time I showed you." _She replied.

The next thing he knew, there was nothing but goldness.

Before a scene began before his eyes.

* * *

Rose was sitting on the jump seat, head in her knees, as she sat, despairing over what to do next. Jackie was sitting next to her, looking worriedly at her daughter. The Doctor gasped as he felt Rose's pain. He instantly recognised what was happening. This was the first time he'd tried to leave Rose Tyler behind. For her own good.

"Sweethart. This is hopeless. Lock the door. Walk away!" Jackie sighed, rubbing her daughter's back.

The Doctor waited, in anticipation, for Rose's response.

"I can't give up." Rose whispered "I've gotta try something. Anything. To save the Doctor's life. Anything."

He felt his hearts flutter.

Rose brought her head up.

"Dad wouldn't give up." She said, looking into her mother's eyes, hopefully.

"Well... He's not here. So we'll never know." Jackie sighed again, looking a bit far off for a second.

The Doctor grinned at the determined look on Rose's face.

"Well I know. Coz I met him." Rose replied.

Jackie gasped.

Rose carried on "The Doctor took me back in time, and I met Dad."

"Rose. Stop it..." Jackie muttered.

"Remember when Dad died? There was someone with him. A girl. A Blonde girl. You saw her from a distance, Mum. Think about it! That was ME. YOU SAW ME!" Rose cried, tears streaming down her face "THAT'S HOW GOOD THE DOCTOR IS!"

The Doctor felt his own tears emerging, as his hearts broke. Again.

"STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!" Jackie yelled, before running out of the doors.

Rose started sobbing, loudly, putting her head back between her knees.

The Doctor tried to pull her into a hug, before remembering that she was an image. An image that was disappearing again, as another one took it's place.

* * *

He instantly recognized the room as Rose's. On the TARDIS, of course. Everything was as it should be. Pink everywhere, make up bottles scattered across her dressing table, Clothes spread across the floor. And then his eyes found something that he hadn't seen for a long time. Rose, sitting in the middle of her bed. He felt blissfully happy for a moment before taking in the expression on her face. She was about to cry.

He looked up as he saw the door open, and then sighed when he saw who it was. Mickey the Idiot.

"Rose... Are you allright?" Mickey asked, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Course I am." She replied, trying to grin. "Just a little bit tired."

Mickey and the Doctor rolled their eyes at the same time.

"Is 'allright' time travellers code for 'really not allright'? Because if it is, I'm allright too." Mickey muttered, trying to look at Rose's face.

She sighed and sunk into his chest.

"Do you think he has any idea?" She whispered.

The Doctor's breath hitched.

"I wouldn't bank on it." Mickey replied, pulling her into a hug "Probably too hung up with his ego."

Rose shook her head fondly at Mickey.

"Oh... I don't know. When he was all ears and leather, I never felt like a spare part. But now he's become a pretty boy... I just feel inadequate. Like the tin dog." She sighed.

"Well... I can empathise with you on that level." Mickey replied, grinning "But I wouldn't expect him to do it to you. Who does he think he is running around cavorting with French whores, leaving you to watch and pick up the pieces." Mickey muttered, angrily.

The Doctor suddenly realised what this was about. And felt very stupid.

Rose smiled. "You sound exactly like my mother."

"Good. Sometimes, even old biddies like her can speak sense." Mickey said, a bit more enthusiastically befor being whacked over the head with a pillow.

"But... he just KISSED her." Rose sighed.

"He's an idiot." Mickey muttered, again.

"You think I don't know?" Rose raised her eyebrows at Mickey "But... It's like Sarah Jane said. Some things are worth getting your heart broken for."

Mickey opened his mouth to protest.

Rose put her hand over his mouth. "Mickey, I made my decision a long time ago. I can't leave him on his own."

Mickey nodded. "He's a very lucky ma- time lord."

The Doctor instantly regretted ever calling Mickey an idiot.

"Yes. He is." Rose replied, hugging Mickey back.

The Doctor felt the vision begin to fade. He silently pleaded with the TARDIS to stop showing him Rose unhappy.

He couldn't take much more.

_Last one, _The TARDIS promised, not sounding sympathetic at all.

And then the new scene began to play.

* * *

The Doctor immediately recognised where Rose was this time. In the TARDIS kitchen. With her mum. Wearing her blue leather jacket... which meant that this hadn't happened long ago. That day, infact. On their journey back home.

"What happens now?" Asked Jackie, looking at Rose, expectantly, over her cup of tea.

"I don't know, Mum. But I don't think he plans on keeping any of us here." Rose sighed, falling into a chair opposite her Mum.

"But, you came back." Jackie cried, surprised.

"I know." Rose replied, gloomily "I was there."

"Oi! Now don't get cheeky with me, madam." Jackie warned, sidetracked "He can't just leave you. He's in love with you. Even a blind man could tell."

Rose put her head in her hands.

"That hasn't stopped him before. He... he's afraid of letting anyone get too close to him. Because he's lost so many people. And, I suppose, he didn't plan on falling in love with anyone. Let alone me-"

The Doctor shook his head at Rose's self esteem. That was still, sometimes, non-existent. But the look on her face broke his hearts. As if she knew exactly what was going to happen next.

"What d'you mean let alone YOU?" Jackie asked.

Rose shook her head "Doesn't matter. Just... don't get too comfortable."

She got up and headed towards the door. Jackie followed, grabbing her arm.

"Rose..." Jackie began.

"Don't, Mum." Rose whispered, running out before Jakie could protest again.

Just as she left, The Doctor saw her face. A tear streamed down her left cheek. It was gold. What was a GOLD tear doing on Rose's cheek.

He had no idea. He sighed in relief, as the TARDIS let him out of his visions, and back into the real world.

_Now do you realise what an idiot you've been? _She asked.

He nodded. What had he done?

_You've given up the only good thing you ever had. _The TARDIS replied, angrily.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Not to the TARDIS though. To Rose.

All that time he'd had her right beside him, he knew he was in love with her. But he'd never thought to act on it. How he overlooked her. And she put up with it because she loved him back.

And now he had to move on. Alone.

But he would never forget his memories of the blonde girl. The _woman, _he corrected himself, that had changed him in so many ways.

And who he would love.

Always.


End file.
